I thought I would take advantage of Dora's captivating hold over Matthew and cast my absentee ballot this afternoon. I appreciated the quiet while I tried to look up names and issues that haven't been blaring at me on local TV for the last several months. That is, until I was finished and walked in to the living room to find a bag of Doritos on the coffee table and chips all over the carpet I just vacuumed last night. And then into the kitchen to find a string of paper towels lying on the floor to mop up what I thought was water spilled in front of the open pantry doors. Closer inspection revealed it was not water, but grease! He was spraying my non-stick cooking spray all over the floor! The dining room didn't escape either. It was covered in Pixie Stick dust deemed too sour to consume. And a quick peek at his favorite hiding space, behind the couch mom is no longer capable of squeezing her 8-months-pregnant body behind, told me where the chocolate ring around his mouth came from--the last of the Hot Fudge Sundae Pop Tarts. Now, lest you think I don't feed my child or that my pantry is stocked only with processed and sugary foods, I do have to say in my defense there are apples and carrots and grapes he could also have chosen to make messes with, but, well, they just aren't as fun to crumble up, dump out, or squish, and they certainly don't come in a really cool spray can. However, Mom is now prepared for the next election!
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